the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
