Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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