mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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