So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
