i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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