So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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