he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
