Kiss
Puke
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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