She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
