'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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