5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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