I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my being single is dangerous.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
