She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
two words: eviction party
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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