Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
