Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
