Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
