So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
