I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
