We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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