i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
