When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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