i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
