i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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