Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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