Non-Jews are for practice
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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