I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
did i just pee glitter
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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