I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
