WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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