They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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