i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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