bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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