Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
birth control should be required to get into college
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
