i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
