was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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