That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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