im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
