I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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