waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Vodka?
Forever.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
