Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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