how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
