so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
