you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
