I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
