so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize