if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
nutella sex= disaster
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
