why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
