My sheets look like a crime scene.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
