Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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