i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
