we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
