let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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