The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
