Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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