I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
