Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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