DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
