Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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