What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
