all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
