even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
