Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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