It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im part way to drunk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
