id be glad to
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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