Screwed.edu
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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