how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
