The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
