First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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